Sex is usually an exciting and wonderful part of each relationship, bringing great pleasure to each (or more) partners. But that often a couple just is not sexually in sync. For whatever reason, they simply do not click sexually.
A common reason behind these sex problems is the absence of honest and open communication.
This is a deeply ingrained societal issue… people simply are not confident talking openly about sex, not with the sex partners of theirs. And imagine what – your partner is not going to read your mind. In case you don’t permit them to know what you want, they won’t know.
When lovers do talk, it is typically about the physical – the logistics of love making, not about their heavy fantasies and desires. So often we get questions from individuals who can’t seem to get a certain sex position just right.
It’s not about getting the other individual to orgasm in any particular position or even another, but about feeling desired, felling desired, feeling your partner’s lust and craving for you personally – feeling the intense heating of passion. And it is about making your partner experience which as well.
That’s something to strive for. It’s that shared desire that takes true sexual confidence.
Today’s issue is actually from a woman dealing with the difficult problem of sexual confidence.
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
I find myself burdened with an annoying insecurity. I do not feel confident in bed. I’ve had a number of good and bad relationships which have left me knowing a great deal about my soul, but little about good results in bed. The first sex partner of mine used to be offended and angry extremely in case I did not wish to have sex. He will lay guilt trips down, refuse to speak to me, or even yell. It wasn’t until after leaving the partnership that I discovered how badly it made me feel about myself, and just how unnecessary/abusive it was. I dated another boy after him who was simply the complete opposite, we dated for 3 years and he seldom initiated sex, not wanting to make me feel pressured. We spoke freely of the feelings of ours, and by the end he felt far more comfortable being aggressive. The next relationship helped me feel at ease with myself and males, however neither relationship actually left me feeling like a sex goddess.
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Today, I’ve finally found someone who is helping me explore my sexual side. I just recently started dating a French male I achieved, and he actually knows how to flip me on! The issue is… with each and every boyfriend, I have never been able to get a guy to cum from a blow job, and I’ve never really been the one on top during sex. Frenchie keeps trying to get me on top, but every time I do, it is as I’ve broken the penis of his! I am 140 lbs, not obese; and he’s absolutely no waif… His penis is medium size, so it’s not as if it’s some stub which would break whether a sparrow sat on it! I’ve experimented with perched straight up and moving up and printed, or leaning forward and moving forward and back, but while he is encouraging, it is never successful. I am also fearful that sitting directly up turns me to bouncing rather compared to riding… and that appears to hurt! As for the blow jobs, I cannot seem to get a rhythm; or while I do (and this’s highly embarrassing) he jokingly asked if I would like to breath!